Strands of Genius: Embracing Growing Old, Phone-Free Childhoods, The Middle Finger Poem
Plus: Thoughts on Spring, Chat GPT on 4/20
WRITING FROM | Beersheba Springs, TN
WORKING ON | getting things in order at the house before our first extended stay away since properly moving in
LOOKING AHEAD
April 19 - 21 | Beersheba Springs, TN
April 21-25 | Chattanooga, TN
April 25-26 | Nashville, TN
April 26 - 30 | Miami, FL
April 30 - May 18 | Worcester Park, UK
May 18 - 20 | Nashville, TN
:: WHAT’S NEW & WEEKLY GRATITUDE ::
This past weekend, we had a smaller crew at my family’s mountain house in Beersheba Springs and it felt like Spring was all around us. The trees had new leaves, flowers were in bloom, and the warmer air turned crisp after the early evening rain shower.
When we think about Spring, there’s often a theme of newness and re-birth. In the past, I’ve associated that with effort. Movement. Doing. But in this season of my life, I’m reminding myself that there’s a beauty in doing less. That flowers aren’t obsessing over a to do list. That rain isn’t worried about its fall from the clouds, or the specific path it takes back into the ground. And yet, there’s beauty all around that comes from things just happening. If not effortlessly, then certainly with ease.
Every time I do less, I’m reminded that things turn out just fine, and I’m rewarded with more energy because I’m exerting less. With big groups up at the mountain house, I’ll put together cooking crews and clean up crews, along details on everyone’s arrival and departure times, while dreaming up swag and party favors. And I *do* get a whole lot of joy out of planning those big weekends. But with a smaller group - 13 vs 32 - where many guests having been here a number of times of the years, I really paired back my planning. We asked everyone to contribute a bit more cost-wise than we usually do, and opted to have a private chef come and cook on Friday night rather than prepping dinner ourselves. We provided eggs and cereal for people to cook as they wish rather than a formalized breakfast on Saturday, and picked an easy lunch that required minimal prep and clean-up. We did a potluck style aperotivo evening on Saturday where everyone prepped or brought something. And instead of formalized cleaning crews, we relied on everyone pitching in. The kitchen stayed clean. The common areas remained tidy. And it all happened with ease rather than lots of effort.
When we were in Nashville, I was talking to a friend whose young child was recently diagnosed with cancer. “I talked myself out of coming to dinner tonight so many times, Rosie,” she confided in me. “I thought of all of the reasons - and there were plenty - not to come. Everything’s exhausting.” But, she knew it would be good for her husband, she said. He was best friends with my high school boyfriend, who had traveled back from Paris to celebrate our 20th HS Reunion. Faris and I would be in town, and the four of us hadn’t gotten to see each other in person since finding out about their son’s cancer. So, for the first time in “forever,” she showered, and put on make up, and got in the car, and talked herself out of coming again, but then didn’t get out of the car and showed up. I’m not gonna lie, y’all, it was emotional for all of us and I don’t know that there was a dry eye on the couches after dinner. And when it was just the two of us in the kitchen, we got to talking about Spring.
She was telling me how this season was feeling discordant to her. Her son’s diagnosis happened just before Christmas, and ever since then, the season has reflected her mood: Cold. Dark. Dreary. But Spring? It was a mind fuck. The sun was coming out and temperatures were heating up. People were wearing short sleeves and smiling more. And new life was all around her, in her yard, on the side of the streets, in the planters by the parking lots at the Doctors visits. Her inner feelings were no longer reflected by Mother Earth. “But, tonight reminded me that I can find moments of Spring. Even in all the darkness, there are pockets of light and beauty. Even if it doesn’t last.”
Perhaps then, Spring offers us the reminder that “This too shall pass.” This is one of my most called upon mantras. When I’m feeling upset or angry, it’s the perfect reminder that the situation is temporary. But it’s also my reminder to live in the moment, because good things will come to an end, as well.
As I was finishing this off, my friend Alex sent me an Instagram post saying, “This too shall pass! This reminded me of that phrase, and the way you explained it.” The post in question was an anecdote “The Glass Is Already Broken.” “You see this goblet?” asks Achaan Chan, the Thai meditation master. “For me, this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”
I’ve been trying to take a walk in our garden every day to admire all the flowers because I know that by the time we return from the UK at the end of May, many will no longer be in bloom.
I love the idea of finding moments of Spring, but I equally love the idea of sitting back and letting moments of Spring show themselves to you :) This past weekend I found Spring in new games, oracle card readings and reflections with friends, deep conversations in rocking chairs on the porch, and cuddling up with friends by the fire. I hope this might prompt you to find some of your own moments of Spring, and if it also happens to be with flowers, please send me all the pictures on Instagram (but really.)
Oh and because everything is related, this all ties into the first article I’m going to share this week : )
This week, we’re especially thankful for:
Chef Tev, all our Wholemeal crew, but especially Jandies, all of the flowers in bloom but especially the peonies we planted out front that are STUNNING, Will & Cory for helping us turn our yard into an oasis, Whole Foods’ ginger sparkling water (still the best. the very best.), espresso martinis by Rachel Fucking Hogan, learning Sagrada, a dice and stained glass board game with Elisha, & YOU.
:: THE LINKS ::
HOW TO EMBRACE GROWING OLD
While this piece is about aging, it’s also about more generally embracing different stages ahem, or seasons (see what I did there?!) of life. The author offers plenty of practical suggestions on how to navigate this transition (along with rationale of why it works, and an example of how it could come to life), but I especially loved her suggestion of “Don’t battle your discomfort.” It makes me think again of how to live with more ease. Berit Lewis writes, “We humans waste so much energy trying to avoid potential discomfort. Often, the energy we spend avoiding something is much more unpleasant than the discomfort itself. The paradox is that the power of the unwanted diminishes if you can find a way to embrace it instead of avoiding it.” (Psyche)
END THE PHONE-BASED CHILDHOOD NOW
My favorite headline about Jonathan Haidt’s latest book, The Anxious Generation. was “Jonathan Haidt Wants You To Take Away Your Kid’s Phone.” In this piece from The Atlantic (via the Wayback Machine, so no subscription needed), he outlines his arguments for a phone-free childhood, and offers four suggestions of how this could come to life: First, no smartphones before high school. Second, no social media before 16. Third, phone-free schools. And finally, more independence, free play and responsibility in the real world. As technology reporter Charlie Warzel put it on Threads: “There are lots of reasons Haidt's stuff is resonating (there's a lot of parents who are understandably weirded out by the way their kids get hooked into devices). There seems to be a lot of contested social science, too, that may be unproductively scaring people without being conclusive! But I think the bigger thing is it touches on a gut feeling we all have: so much has changed technologically in a short [amount] of time! We know this connectivity is working on us, but it's hard to pin down exactly how.” (WARC)
THE MIDDLE FINGER POEM
I don’t see (ha, listen to) a lot of audio on Substack, but I stumbled upon this creator and especially loved this poem:
(The Utter)
Want to chat, comment, question, compliment?
:: CHATGPT ON SATURDAY’S HOLIDAY - 4/20 ::
Ladies and gentlemen, gather round,
For a celebration that knows no bound.
Today's the day we all unite,
In the name of green, we shine so bright!
On this fine April day, we blaze away,
In the spirit of peace and love, we sway.
With joints and bongs, we take flight,
Embracing freedom, oh what a sight!
From Amsterdam to LA, we spread the cheer,
A puff, a pass, we have no fear.
In parks and homes, we come together,
To cherish the herb, in any weather.
So let's roll up, and light the fire,
Inhale the goodness, reach higher and higher.
For on this day, we stand tall and proud,
In honor of a plant, we sing aloud!
To cannabis, our friend so dear,
We raise a toast, without any fear.
So happy 4/20, one and all,
Let's keep the spirit alive, standing tall!
prompt engineered by Jandies
If we can ever be of help to you, even outside of a formal engagement, please don’t hesitate to let us know.
rockON,
faris & rosie | your friends over at geniussteals.co
(still want more? @faris is still “tweeting” while @rosieyakob prefers instagram stories)
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It's called Genius Steals because we believe ideas are new combinations and that nothing can come from nothing. But copying is lazy. We believe the best way to innovate is to look at the best of that which came before and combine those elements into new solutions.
Co-Founders Faris & Rosie are award-winning strategists and creative directors, writers, consultants and public speakers who have been living on the road/runway since March 2013, working with companies all over the world. We have a distributed team ourselves, an accounting team is based in Tennessee where our company is registered, our admin extraordinaire is based in Playa del Carmen, and our collaborators are all over the world. Being nomadic allows us to go wherever clients need us to be, and to be inspired by the world in between.
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