Strands of Genius: It's OK To Be Wrong, The Insane Cost of Cars, Channeling Stoicism To Help With Anxiety
Plus, our thoughts on: conversations with my mom
WRITING FROM | a train from Porto > Lisbon
WORKING ON | contracts & scope amendments (the less fun part of running your own business!)
LOOKING AHEAD
July 26-Aug 15 | Worcester Park, UK
Aug 3-9 | Nashville, TN (Rosie only)
Aug 12-19 | Porto & Lisbon (Rosie with her mom)
Aug 19-27 | Malaga, Spain
Sept 14-21 | Provence, France
:: WHAT’S NEW & WEEKLY GRATITUDE ::
My heart is so full right now, y’all! I’m coming to you from Portugal, where I’m in the midst of a mother-daughter trip.
Faris’ dad, Abdullah, invited us to come to Malaga, Spain, and my mom (aka JuJu) also wanted to join. But since she was coming from Nashville, TN, she wanted to stay for a few weeks — and has always wanted to visit Portugal. And so, we’re traveling to Porto and Lisbon together for a week before meeting up with Faris and his dad in Malaga, Spain and eventually continuing on to Madrid with Faris. I’ve had an absolute blast traveling with my mom, and have been recording our dinner conversations where we’ve brought loads of questions for each other that we’ve been discussing (you can find those below).
In light of a recent death in the family (the world really did not get our memo on wanting to be finished with death and grief this year), I’m treasuring this time even more-so than I otherwise would. I know not all moms are so easy or enjoyable to be around, so JuJu wants to offer her services of entertainment and boosting your ego, plus being a companionable travel partner — especially if you’re going to Japan, or anywhere in Africa or South America ;)
This week, we’re especially thankful for:
all the mamas out there, but especially Juju, Porto, Portuguese wine, hand painted titles, the gardens of the Museum de Serralves, the coastal walk between the Fox de Douro and Porto, Pur Boutique Hotel, (e)Motivo, hotel beds, on-time flights, trains, Glennon Doyle’s ‘We Can Do Hard Things’ podcast & YOU.
:: THE LINKS ::
IT’S OK TO BE WRONG
Adam Fetterman, director of the Personality, Emotion and Social Cognition Lab, says that we often don’t realize our wrongness because of cognitive dissonance (when our beliefs or behaviors conflict with each other, or when our actions contradict our beliefs.) Cognitive dissonance “usually results in anxiety or feelings of uncertainty” — something our brain doesn’t like. So instead of admitting we’re wrong, we reject the new information we’ve been given. “Not too often do we actually change our thoughts or beliefs to align with the new information,” says Fetterman. But even moreso than cognitive dissonance? We’re worried that people will think we’re stupid, or will reject us. But Fetterman’s research has showed that by owning up to our errors, or admitting wrongness actually improves reputation. (Vox)
THE INSANE COST OF CARS
Thanks to Kai at Dense Discovery for pointing us in the direction of this YouTube video and the accompanying calculations. For highly paid individuals, we spend 15-40% of our lifetime earnings on cars, which seems crazy. And while the maker of the video is in Berlin where public transport options are abound, many of our readers live in the US, a country that hasn’t prioritize public transit in any meaningful way in most cities. A spreadsheet is provided so you can run your own calculations, but… damn. Cars are expensive, y’all!
From Kai: “Based on a conservative study from a few years ago, if you own and use a car of that size over 50 years, it comes to a total cost of €403,179. If we stretch that to 60 years and apply a more realistic inflation rate of 2.5%, that small Golf will incur a lifetime cost of €1,579,583! On a medium income, that’s 30-40% of every euro earned, ever.
Using his home town of Berlin, Marton then shows how alternative ways of transport compare. You could buy an unlimited, yearly ticket for both the local public transport network in Berlin and for all regional rail services covering the entirety of Germany, and buy a brand new e-bike every year, and it’s still cheaper than owning a Golf-sized car. (It’s not a perfect comparison, of course.)” (Dense Discovery / YouTube / OneDrive)
NINE WAYS TO CHANNEL STOICISM TO HELP YOUR ANXIETY
While the title says “How to Cure Anxiety,” I’ve opted for a slightly different re-titling to “Channeling Stoicism to *help* Your Anxiety” as I don’t know that any of these provide a full cure. From ‘naming your monster’ to simply ‘do less’ this list offers some wisdom that has helped me in the past, and some that I’m sure I’ll call on in the future. (The Daily Stoic)
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:: WHAT WE’RE THINKING ABOUT: MOTION SICKNESS & CONVERSATIONS WITH MY MOM::
I had planned to write a bit more about traveling with my mom in Portugal, however that’s going to be delayed because the train we’re on is making me more motion sick than a car! I don’t know that I’ve ever had this feeling from a train. If this was an Uber-driver, I’d give them 1-star. Cue the barf emojis. Let’s hope it’s just limited to emoji thoughts and not actions!!
So instead of writing more in-depth about the experience of traveling with my mom (maybe I’ll revisit that idea later), I wanted to share the questions that have guided our meal-time conversations, all of which I’ve recorded for posterity.
What do you think are the most important qualities to have in friendships?
What’s your greatest accomplishment? (Kids, excluded, mom!)
How did the divorce affect you when it happened and how does that differ to its impact today?
How did Marion & Lillian & I turn out differently than you expected?
If you could travel backwards or forwards in time, and your safety was guaranteed, where would you go, and why?
Where do you most want to travel to?
If you could have a billboard in Times Square for 24 hours, what would you use it for?
What’s the best advice you’ve gotten from your therapist?
What are your thoughts on legacy?
When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?
How would your friends describe you? (What would they get wrong or fail to mention?)
Who would you like to have dinner with? (Someone who you haven’t met.)
What worries you most about the future? What excites you most about the future?
If you were given a million dollars right now under the condition that you had to pack up and move to another country for 3 years, would you do it? If so, where would you move and why? If not, why not?
If you’ve got any questions that inspire great conversations, I’d love to hear ‘em!
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faris & rosie & ashley | your friends over at geniussteals.co
@faris is always tweeting
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It's called Genius Steals because we believe ideas are new combinations and that nothing can come from nothing. But copying is lazy. We believe the best way to innovate is to look at the best of that which came before and combine those elements into new solutions.
Co-Founders Faris & Rosie are award-winning strategists and creative directors, writers, consultants and public speakers who have been living on the road/runway since March 2013, working with companies all over the world. Our Director of Operations is nomadic like us, our accounting team is based out of Washington, our company is registered in Tennessee, and our collaborators are all over the world. Being nomadic allows us to go wherever clients need us to be, and to be inspired by the world in between.
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