Strands of Genius: Mommy Penalty, Overwhelming Loneliness, Financial Value

Guest curated by Christie Bishop, CEO, "What Nobody Tells Us" Strategies & Coaching

Faris Yakob | GeniusSteals.co

and

Rosie Yakob | GeniusSteals.co

Jun 27, 2024

:: A BIT MORE ABOUT GUEST CURATOR, CHRISTIE BISHOP ::

LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA

Hello, Genius Steals' friends and family!

I'm Christie Bishop, a 20+ year strategy and advertising exec who's worked proudly for agencies including Spark44 (now Accenture), Team One, TBWA/Media Arts Lab, Edelman and dabbled in-house at Farmer's Insurance, launching the well-known "We Are Farmers" campaign with actor JK Simmons. My wonderful friend and fellow advertising veteran, Beth Munce, recommended I share my "incredible" story (her words) with Rosie/Faris. So here we are!

I've loved my time in agency land but for the past 15 years, I've been hiding a double life. While I was building a successful advertising career at work, my fiancé was diagnosed in 2009 with an inoperable brain tumor and given a death sentence: Six months to live.

I was 29 years old and my life completely flipped upside down: From newly minted Strategy Director to cancer caregiver. Creative planner to patient advocate. Newlywed to possible widow. Life as I knew it ceased to exist.

There was no guide to get me through, nor did friends or family know how to help. Fifteen years later, my husband has beaten all odds and continues to survive, yet for over a decade I hid much of my caregiving role from my agency colleagues and clients. I navigated much of it in silence. Why? I had worked too hard to be passed over for opportunities due to others’ preconceived notions of caregivers.

Not anymore. This journey has given me an unparalleled perspective on life, career, caregiving, parenting, marriage, and so much more.

Last year, I made a major career pivot and am now the CEO and founder of my own company, What Nobody Tells Us Strategies & Coaching, which supports working caregivers, so no one has to suffer the way I did. In addition, I host the What Nobody Tells Us podcast, which normalizes uncomfortable conversations one difficult topic at a time, as well curate the eponymous WNTU e-newsletter.

I hid my caregiving duties from so many for so long because our society isn't set up to support professional women, much less unpaid women, who are also in a caregiving role. It took a massive toll on my mental and physical health, landing me in the hospital three times from the stress alone.

I've always felt seen in my career as an advertising executive, even when I had to fight for it in male-dominated industries. But I've never really felt seen as a caregiver. Respected and admired, yes, but never seen.

So here I am, taking my life's biggest challenge and turning it into my life's work: Supporting caregivers and parents in the workplace who don't feel seen and are struggling under the personal and professional weight of their collective responsibilities.

It's great to meet you and if you've made it this far, I appreciate your time. Let's get in touch if you need help supporting the caregivers within your organization.

Editor’s Note (Genius Steals): A huge thank you to Beth for sending Christie our way! We loved reading about her story, and we’re so happy to have her here sharing more today :)

:: THE LINKS ::

MOMMY PENALTY

Here's a stark reality that blows my mind: 73% of U.S. employees are caregivers. That means nearly 3/4 of our workforce is tasked with the monumental responsibility of caring for children, a sick loved one, or aging parents... in addition to their professional roles.
Caregivers, Similar to the "mommy penalty" when women are penalized for taking time away from work to care for someone at home, caregivers are also held back from promotions, opportunities, additional responsibilities, etc. due to the perception that they have "too much going on at home." It's the same reason why I hid my caregiving duties for so long, until I was senior enough to make the rules and not the penalized by them.
IMHO, this couldn't be more short-sighted, as caregivers gain invaluable skills that are directly transferrable to the workplace, from empathy and efficiency to tenacity/persistence, prioritization skills, patience and teamwork. That's just the tip of the iceberg, but the fact is that U.S. social fabric and legislature is not set up to help working caregivers succeed. Quite the opposite, where caregivers don't receive the emotional , professional or financial support necessary, despite gaining skills that can directly benefit their employes. (HBR)

OVERWHELMING LONELINESS

Reading this announcement took my breath away. The caregiving struggle is invisible, misunderstood, and often pitied, so I was floored to see The Hollywood Reporter announce Bradley Cooper's PBS doc on the caregiver's experience.
Unless you've been there, people just don't get it. I certainly don't mean to diminish the extraordinary empathy and support myself and other caregivers have received from those who love us most, but the reality is that no one knows our feelings of desperation, loneliness, exhaustion, terror and helplessness behind closed doors.
That is... unless you're thrust into this world unexpectedly, like Bradley Cooper was: “When my father was diagnosed with cancer, that was a wake-up call for me, one that really opened my eyes to the world of caregiving.”
He goes on to describe, "The level of loneliness can overcome an individual going through this — it’s overwhelming. Raising this conversation on a national level will help, and together, I believe we can make a difference. I’m extremely proud to produce this documentary. Together, we can help raise the banner for caregivers.”
I didn't expect to get so emotional seeing the conversation on caregiving go mainstream, mostly because I never thought it would go mainstream. Again, we're invisible and misunderstood. People feel bad for caregivers while at the same time, feel so thankful it's not happening to them.
I've always felt seen in my career as an advertising executive, even when I had to fight for it in male-dominated industries. But I've never really felt seen as a caregiver. Respected and admired, yes, but never hashtag#seen.
Even if this documentary offers a tiny glimpse into what it's really like to care give for someone, it won't perfectly reflect mine or others' stories. That doesn't matter.
What matters is that this conversation is starting, we're shedding light on our hidden lives, and this is one small step towards getting caregivers the societal and legislative support that they need. (The Hollywood Reporter)

FINANCIAL VALUE

When my husband was at his sickest during a particularly brutal chemotherapy called Stivarga, I often found myself in situations where I was forced to choose between prioritizing his well-being over my obligations to work and other personal dreams. It's a difficult decision to make, and one that can make you feel emotionally, financially and physically trapped, exhausted and ultimately, on the verge of collapse.

The care economy is a vital part of our society, yet it remains completely undervalued and unsupported. Caregivers, both paid and unpaid, face massive challenges, including low wages, long hours, and a lack of resources and support. I haven't seen the perceived financial value of a caregiver's time quantified as if it were a full-time job, but it's easily the equivalent to over 40 hours a week + overtime; I can promise you that. It's infuriating to see so many dedicated, talented people forced to leave the workforce due to these issues, especially when the demand for care services continues to grow.

The fact that the care economy represents such a significant portion of the US GDP highlights just how critical this sector is to our overall economic health. If we allow it to collapse, the ripple effects will be felt throughout our society, impacting not only those who require care but also the millions of caregivers and their families.

It's time for business and government leaders to recognize the immense value of the care economy and take action to address the challenges it faces. We need policies and initiatives that support caregivers, provide fair compensation, and ensure access to the resources and training needed to deliver high-quality care. (We Forum)

Looking for more from Christie? Coming Friday, look for an interview from her in your inbox!

:: AND NOW… SOME FAST FAVORITES ::

:: Game :: OG Nintendo - Mario Bros. & Bubble Bobble

:: City :: London, UK

:: Book :: Underland: A Deep Time Journey by Robert McFarlane

:: Podcast :: Hysteria with political commentator/comedy writer Erin Ryan and former White House Deputy Chief of Staff Alyssa Mastromonaco

:: Song :: Anything my 7yo daughter and I get to belt out in the car together. Lately, it's “Wildest Dreams” and TTPD by Taylor Swift.

:: MILKY WAY ::

My dad is big into Milky Way photography and I found this IG account called @astrofalls, run by Bray Falls. He ditched a job he didn't love and bet on himself: Turned his budding photography passion into a full-on business, taking stunning photographs of some of the most extraordinary space phenomena. You've heard of tornado chasers, right? Think of Bray as a star and galaxy chaser. Since he started his business, he's not only taken some of the most stunning photographs of space that I've ever seen, he's actually DISCOVERED never-before-known nebulas and supernovas, and is now building a physical astro-photography collective space where other photographers can place their telescopes and equipment to peer deep into the heavens. His work is so beautiful and a reminder what we are just teeny, tiny ants in a huge world we can barely begin to understand. I love it because it reminds me not to take life too seriously and to believe in miracles, especially when we least expect it.

LOVE YOU, BYEEEEEEE! That's the sign-off I lovingly yell from the car after dropping my daughter off at school. She's mortified but also secretly digs it.

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It's called Genius Steals because we believe ideas are new combinations and that nothing can come from nothing. But copying is lazy. We believe the best way to innovate is to look at the best of that which came before and combine those elements into new solutions.

Co-Founders Faris & Rosie are award-winning strategists and creative directors, writers, consultants and public speakers who have been living on the road/runway since March 2013, working with companies all over the world. Our Director of Operations is nomadic like us, our accounting team is based out of Washington, our company is registered in Tennessee, and our collaborators are all over the world. Being nomadic allows us to go wherever clients need us to be, and to be inspired by the world in between.

Hit reply and let’s talk about how we might be able to work together :)

Strands of Genius