Strands of Genius: Offices Aren't Working, Six Forces of Friendship, Warc Talks Attention Pod
plus, our thoughts on: waning ambition
WRITING FROM | Worcester Park, UK
WORKING ON | workshop run of show & a new scope of work
LOOKING AHEAD
July 11-22 | Worcester Park, UK
July 22-26 | Tuscany, IT
July 26-Aug 9 | Worcester Park, UK
Aug 9-16 | Malaga, Spain
Sept 14-21 | Provence, FR
:: WHAT’S NEW & WEEKLY GRATITUDE ::
Welp, last week we forgot about the newsletter. It hasn’t happened in years, y’all… years. We flew back into London from NYC overnight on Monday night, landing Tuesday. And when we were deciding on our flights, we talked about how we could write Strands on Tuesday when we landed, since we had all day. Instead, we moaned about how hard jet lag was (and how hard it was to leave our friends) and dozed on and off all day, in between ordering delivery. I got into bed early, around 7p, and was excited to sleep through the night… until my alarm went off at 11p. I don’t know how this alarm got turned on, but in addition to it startling me, it also meant that I saw a note from Ashley asking us about the blank draft in Substack. My heart sank to my stomach immediately, but we agreed she’d send out a ‘blast from the past’ and I’d try to fall back asleep. It was fine. Until the next day when I started to feel guilty about the whole thing… More on this and ambition below.
Oh and… this week we want to wish both of our daddios a very happy birthday! Abdullah celebrates his birthday on July 17th and Scooter celebrates his on July 22nd. We’re sending some very special birthday love to Spain and to Nashville!
This week, we’re especially thankful for:
Camp Jelly, Jared, who continues to offer up Camp Jelly as a home base for us and then when we take him up on the offer for a couple of weeks he *still* asks us to stay longer, Ben, who taught me about gardening, I Love That For You, and ZIWE, in fact - ZIWE deserves her own shout out… that woman is truly magnificent, and her show ZIWE is absolutely incredible, Alex & Collin, who we smothered with cuddles all week and it still wasn’t enough, the park and the drive-in movie theatre which we didn’t go to, Ms. Marvel (also amazing), making French fries for the first time, cucumber gazpacho, stolen berry spritzers and a tart wild berry crisp, air conditioning, & YOU.
:: THE LINKS ::
WHY THE RETURN TO THE OFFICE ISN’T WORKING
70% of office workers around the world are now back on-site, in a communal space, for at least one day a week… and if there was some initial excitement, it’s worn off. It’s not just that you gain a commute, it’s that our entire perception and indeed use of common spaces has changed. Because fewer people are in the office, fewer amenities are offered. But it’s also that our related to our ability to focus, ongoing stress levels (there’s still an ongoing pandemic), and the fact that our satisfaction at work continues to deteriorate. Hybrid workers want to see their colleagues in the office, but they also don’t want to have when they show up mandated — meaning it doesn’t always work out that individuals show up at the same time. But as Rani Molla concludes, “They don’t necessarily hate the office. What they hate is not having a good reason to be there.” (Recode)
THE SIX FORCES THAT FUEL FRIENDSHIP
Julie Beck has conducted 100 interviews on friendship, which she’s published over the years on The Atlantic. With the publishing of the final article in the series, Beck reflects on what she’s learned: “Though every bond evolves in its own way, I have come to believe that there are six forces that help form friendships and maintain them through the years: accumulation, attention, intention, ritual, imagination, and grace.” While diving into each is interesting, I found it interesting to read that studies estimate it takes spending 40-60 hours together in a 6-week period to go from an acquaintance to a friend (and 80-100 hrs to become more than that). Faris and I love hosting weekends away for this reason that we intuited without the evidence — the intense amount of time you spend together with new peeps can quickly become the roots of a long lasting friendship. As someone who isn’t physically nearby to most of my friends at any given time, her quote on distance especially resonated with me: “I’ve come to believe that friendship doesn’t always have to be about presence; it can also be about love that can weather absence".” (The Atlantic)
WARC ATTENTION ECONOMY PODCAST
Our friends at WARC let Faris hijack their delightful podcast WARC TALKS for a three episode series about attention since his book was published in a brand new updated second edition, and doesn’t everyone seem to be talking about attention nowadays. This first episode is about the Attention Economy, an idea that dates back to 1972, and features brilliance from Zoe Scaman, founder of integrated strategy studio Bodacious, Matt Locke, partner at content studio Storythings, and Tony Haile, senior director of product at Twitter. (WARC)
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:: WHAT WE’RE THINKING ABOUT: AMBITION ::
When I realized we hadn’t published an edition of our newsletter, last week at 11p BST, I surprised myself: I didn’t panic. I felt a clench in my stomach, disappointed in myself for forgetting — but was able to remind myself that we haven’t forgotten an edition in years, and mistakes happen.
I thought it was fine and fell back asleep, but then the next day I started feeling guilty about well, not panicking… not feeling guilty *enough* for this mishap. It started to seep into my brain, this idea that I lack ambition. It was upsetting because I haven’t always thought of myself as someone who lacks ambition. In fact, I have usually felt pride about being ambitious, or being described as ambitious.
I was speaking with some friends over a dinner in Italy and one woman asked us all “What holds you back?” The first thing that came into my mind was “my rebellious nature.” But if I’m honest with myself, that’s not what’s holding me back — Instead it’s a big part of what’s gotten to me to be where I am. I kept thinking about it, and eventually said “being lazy and a lack of ambition.”
So you see, my brain has already been feeding me this line about lacking ambition. And before it becomes a slippery slope, I decided to do a little investigating into ambition. What is it? Am I lacking it? And if so, is that ok??
Ambition is defined as the desire and determination to achieve success. The definition of “success” may vary from person to person and culture to culture, but the message remains the same: it’s important to have goals and the determination to complete them. - BetterHelp
HBR says, “In excess, ambition damages reputations, relationships, and can lead to catastrophic failure. On the other hand, too little ambition can make the person in question look lazy and unmotivated. Further, it can result in mediocre performance, boredom, and a bleak sense of futility.”
In the words of Dr. Sonya Bruner, “Ambition may come and go through different times in someone’s life, whether it be a change in job or a shift in mindset, it is normal to feel less ambition every now and then.” She continues, writing, “However, if your ambition levels are affecting your mood and wellbeing, talking to a therapist may be a great way to understand why you’re feeling less ambitious as well as figure out the best way to improve that ambition to get back on the right track.” (Fair point, this is an article on a paid-for remote therapy company, Better Help.)
She goes onto say “Believing that you are less ambitious now than you have been previously can feel unsettling.” (Umm, yeah!)
So, ambition… a learned trait, rather than in inborn trait. We need it to succeed, but if we have too much of it we’ll fail, but if we don’t have it at all we’ll look lazy and unmotivated. Le sigh.
According to Forbes, “A recent study by the Families and Work Institute found that workers begin losing their ambition to get promoted or seek out more responsibilities around age 35.” But then they say: “Researchers attributed this decline in motivation to the demands of having children.” I’m 36, but, well, we don’t have kids. So I’ll blame my age but can’t blame the kiddos this time around.
But according to another study, “ambition peaks around the age of 33 - the sweet spot that exists on the border of vigor and lived experience.” (
Apparently, it’s pretty normal for ambition to wane in your life — but if you find yourself completely lacking, it’s probably depression. Still, it’s interesting to think that ambition is something tied to our youth. (“Remember when we used to have more energy?,” asks Faris.)
John C Robinson writes, “Ambition is the world of the young and middle aged, it’s the realm of the ego making its way in the world of work, love and life. As one moves through aging, ambition wanes so that something new can emerge from the soul, a new blossom of who you really are.”
I perceive my lacking of ambition as laziness. It’s not that I’m unmotivated exactly, it’s just that I feel *more* motivated about things that aren’t, well, work-based. I’m motivated to water each and every quadrant of my father-in-law’s garden, to try new recipes, to read a book in the sun, to text my sister. And equally, it should be said, that I feel hugely lucky to get to do the work we do. I love it. When we sign a scope of work, we do our best to deliver world class work. But I don’t feel a desire to be the best digital nomads in the world, or the most vocal strategists, or the business consultants with the best slides.
Ambition in my youth felt like that — the desire to be better, or even to be the best. But now I feel an overwhelming contentedness, with what we have and where we are.
“As we age, it’s harder to have a get-up-and-go attitude toward things,” says Ann Graybiel, an Institute Professor at MIT and member of the McGovern Institute for Brain Research. “This get-up-and-go, or engagement, is important for our social well-being and for learning — it’s tough to learn if you aren’t attending and engaged.”
Re-framing a lack of ambition as a contentedness feels like a psychological trick I’ve played on myself. I’m still worried that I’m lazy, and that I should be doing more. But maybe I shouldn’t be doing more? (“There should be no shoulds,” chimes in Faris.) Maybe in the last two years I’ve learned more about myself and what I need? It’s a choice I make: In our crazy, hectic world, I often choose to do yoga, or read my Kindle. It doesn’t have to be lazy to choose to give back to yourself…. Right??
But if you are hoping to increase your ambition BetterHelp provides 27 Ways to Help Overcome a Lack of Ambition - https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/ambition/27-ways-to-overcome-lack-of-ambition/
What about you? Have your thoughts on ambition shifted as you’ve aged? We’d love to hear your perspective.
:: AND FINALLY… ::
We know it’s healthy to keep our bodies flexible as we age, but I think sometimes we forget how important it is to keep our minds flexible. If we don’t recognize that language and attitudes constantly evolve, we might rightly be accused of a stubborn conservatism that clings to our own radical youth, as if ours were the only generation capable of making progress. - M. Leona Godin
From the article in The NY Times, Is That Ableist?
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faris & rosie & ashley | your friends over at geniussteals.co
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It's called Genius Steals because we believe ideas are new combinations and that nothing can come from nothing. But copying is lazy. We believe the best way to innovate is to look at the best of that which came before and combine those elements into new solutions.
Co-Founders Faris & Rosie are award-winning strategists and creative directors, writers, consultants and public speakers who have been living on the road/runway since March 2013, working with companies all over the world. Our Director of Operations is nomadic like us, our accounting team is based out of Washington, our company is registered in Tennessee, and our collaborators are all over the world. Being nomadic allows us to go wherever clients need us to be, and to be inspired by the world in between.
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Really appreciate these rumination on ambition, thanks for sharing Rosie. As well as the article from Leona Godin linked at the end. As someone who works in disability inclusion, without experiencing a disability myself I feel combatting ableist language is a learning journey I am continually on
With everything happening in the world, "ambition" as we've known it is likely speeding toward relic status. The US took the drug more than most and look how that's turning out.
Why can't the pursuit of perfect garden watering or learning to play piano be considered a worthy ambition? Due to the lack of external measurements and validation?
How many brilliant projects have we all delivered that didn't end up quite the way we envisioned?
There's a Bob Dylan quote that goes something like "a man (yeah, a man) is a success if he wakes up in the morning, goes to bed at night and in between does what he wanted to do."
If it's delivering a deck, great. If it's watering a garden, great.
I'm blessed to know people very broadly across the spectrum of "success." Life satisfaction does not exactly align with money and status the way we've convinced ourselves it does, but you do eat at far better restaurants.